If you got told you were terminally ill and was going to die, would you tell your children and family?

if you didnt have long left would you tell them or would you live your last weeks as if you wernt going to die, you could just upset everyone and wouldnt like to spend the rest of your life with your children grieving?If you got told you were terminally ill and was going to die, would you tell your children and family?
I would tell them... my mom had a tumor in her breast and she didn't tell us... she waited until they told her they were going to go in and remove it.... I wish she would have told us... I think its better to tell because it gives family time to understand what is going on... the shock will be bad enough but when the time comes the beforehand knowledge will help ease the pain...If you got told you were terminally ill and was going to die, would you tell your children and family?
Yes, I would. They would have a right to know and could help me put things in order.
My husband wouldn't let me or his brother tell his mother that


he had terminal brain cancer and only had 6 months to live.


however within 2 months he got worse, his brother got his


mother to the hospital just in time, she had a right to know.


although he was unconsious, she said her last goodbyes


to him. after all she brought him into the world, it was


fitting she should see him before he departed.
i would tell my wife so she could prepaire her self but not my daughter
i wouldn't tell them but really spend the last moments enjoying doing things with the children.
I think that is a hard decision to make when there is children involved, if it was just you and your family i think that it would be more manageable.





if it was me i would tell the children but in a sensitive way because it is better for them to know then them waking up and you are gone.





by letting then know it is going to be easier for then to except your abscence.
Good question...I'm torn between a desire to be honest, and a desire to be honourable.
Having never been in that situation I can't call on any past experience, but I see no reason not to tell those closest to me.





If I was one of the family members I'd want to be told. Far better to have chance to say goodbye. Otherwise I'd always know they had kept something important from me, which would make grieving harder.
I would not tell them.
I would definately tell them, so that they have time to prepare, to say goodbye... and then definately just go and have fun, maybe take a trip, go somewhere... the other way it would be too much of a shock, and it would be much harder for them to deal with later.
I`d tell them so they could be prepared when it happens and are expecting it,although i know it`d still hurt them.
Absolutely...my mom did. She was told in October that her cancer was terminal, she passed away in March. We made the most of it. And she did not have to bear the burden of knowledge alone, we all shared it. Was it still hard...yes. Did we laugh, love and cry....yes.
Hi Leesa,





I am not sure if you are asking this hypothetically or not but if it's something you are going through there is places you can get advice on the topic...even doctors can help with this decison.





Hypothetically though if I had a terminal illness I would tell my family, yes. I don't have children but I would tell them too. In some ways I think continuing with life normally for months, not telling anyone and then dying quite suddenly or in a very short space of time, would nearly have a worse effect on their grief...because they wouldn't have time to prepare. I think If i could be the one to decide how I want arrangements to be b4 and after, I would be much happier, than dying and not having my last wishes met.





I know telling children would be very hard and any family member but if you could be strong enough to do so, i think it's actually the best option. it doesn't mean you can't keep living life as usual really..of course people will be more sensitive to you but sometimes that a good thing. I think keeping it to myself would kill me quicker really.





sometimes knowing how much time you have left can be a blessing.





If this is a topic you are interested in, there is a good movie called Stepmom..featuring julia roberts and susan surandon..which is about this...its atear jerker though so have the tissues ready.





Best of luck x
In a heartbeat, honesty is the best policy.
yes i think you should tell all consearned and be able to come to terms with the proplem or your family are going to think you dont want them around and then every body is going to think why did they not tell us sooner
I would tell them and have a hugeeeeee party.


Its much better for them to know, gives them a chance to say goodbye and all those things you have been meaning to say but never got round to..........
My god mother was dieing of cancer and she told us. However I think sometimes she wish she hadn't told everyone because ppl start walking on egg shells, worring and even doubting that you could be healed. So consider some ppl may not act the same after hearing that type of news you never know follow your heart. :) 2 give the person you asking this about some hope the day my God mother was suppose to die from this she went to the hospital cause they didn't understand her well being so they did surgery and found that it was actually not cancer a surgery she had previously had was the cause. Who ever her doctor was left something in her stomach that made her that sick and now shes healing and getting married soon.
yes of course its their right to know
if you were terminally ill you wouldnt need to tell your family in the last few weeks as they would be able to see how ill you were.,but it would be better to talk to them to soften the blow.i was relieved when my father and grandfather died because they suffered so much and death was a release from their living hell
i wouldn't tell anyone cuz i dont wanna be hooked up to nothing, it would be my time and it's gonna happen sooner/later
Id tell them as i would not want it to be too much of a shock !!, plus i could tell them where i wanted to be buried and what Happy music i wanted at my funeral, and who i didn't want to attend ? :-)
r u dieing?! i'm srry! i will pray 4 u! promis! but ........i would tell your husband and when your gone your husband will tell your kids what happend and that u did not tell then because u wanted to make the best out of the rest of your life and u did not want to make them sad! they will understand!








i wish u the best...really! get well soon!
Tell them. Then they'd all have chance to say the things they want to say to you.
I wouldn`t tell them until I had to...in fact I wouldn`t want to know either. Even if I suspected it..
It would depend on how long I had left.


If you watch someone dying but don't know they are you have false hope. It took my dad 7 weeks to die and we weren't told he was dying until the week before he died, we had to go to hospital management to find out.


He had told them he did not want us to know till near the end but he was never himself again and couldn't let us know.He let us know he wanted to die though.


That was horrible.


Hope that comes close to what your after..
I don't have a husband/partner/boyfriend, nor do I have children. The closest relatives I have are my sister, brother and their families.





We have a rocky relationship at times because I want to be a recluse and they don't want me to be, they want to see more of me and they want me to actually visit them without being fetched, coerced, threatened etc (not gonna happen!)





If I was told I had a terminal disease and only had a few months to live, the only person I would tell would be my boss and I would sear her to secrecy. She makes a big thing about the confidentiality clause in our contracts, I would remind her about that.





The only reason I would tell her is because I'm a carer and look after some very precious and vulnerable people. One of my ladies is heading towards her 101st birthday. If it was likely that I may be a danger to these people through contamination or muscle weakness, I would leave and she would need to know why.





No-one else would get to know because I wouldn't want people fawning over me. I jealously guard my privacy; no-one gets in my home without my advance notice. I can imagine that both my siblings would want me to move in with them so that I wouldn't be alone ... when the end came and that would be unacceptable. I live alone and I want to die alone without all the wailing that often comes with someone's passing.





I'm not heartless, I was brought up to see death as the natural conclusion to life. It's going to happen, get used to it, the sooner you do the easier it will be when it happens as a result, when my parents died, my ex sister in law accused me of not caring about them because I wasn't bereft. I cared that little about them, I fought all the authorities to look after them myself at home.





As for my siblings and their families, they seem to hold me in high affection and so I'm sure they'll be very sad for a while but then life goes on, doesn't it? After a few months, I'll be relegated to that memory box that brings a few tears when it surfaces ... Maybe when little sisters are mentioned, the other two will think of me or when doting aunts are mentioned their children will but I'm under no illusions that I am not the most important person in anyone's life. No-one's life is going to stop and be irreversibly changed when I go.
I would probaly tell them but give them the wrong time so they know its comming but not when. I would also try and spend as much time with them as I can
Allowing your children, and family, to come to terms with an imminent death would be the kindest way of letting them start their grieving process.





Maybe, let them know the person was ill slowly. Just giving them a little information at a time, so that they can deal with it in small stages.





Personally, I would want everyone to remember me fondly, and as a happy person. And to achieve that, when being aware that one is terminally ill, requires their support, and their understanding of what that person is going through.





Knowing that I did all I could to ease their worry and grieving, would be a comfort to me also.
i'd have to my husband would need instruction on how to work the washing machine, iron, lawn mower, microwave, dvd player and how to wipe his a**
well, they'll get to know about it eventually
Of course because you do not want any regrets and you owe it to your family to let them say there goodbyes